The connection between parents and their children is one of the most challenging, yet rewarding relationships of all. It is rarely a perfect, straightforward bond — rather, it’s full of nuances and complex dynamics.
There are many misconceptions about what a ‘normal’ relationship should look like — such as that mothers and daughters must always be arguing, or that fathers must use tough love on their sons and gentle words with daughters. It’s ok to let go of the expectations of what you should be doing in this relationship.
You don’t need to force yourself to forgive in order to move forward nor do you have to adhere to outdated ideas of how you should behave. The answer lies in creating a space for intimacy – learning how to understand each other better, connecting through shared experiences, and taking time out for restorative practices when things seem overwhelming.
The parent-child relationship is an incredibly important one, but it doesn’t have to be difficult or painful. It just takes a bit more effort from both parties — but it can lead to profound rewards once the bonds are established.
In the parent-child relationship, both parties need to be willing to accept each other for who they are and make an effort to truly understand what matters most in the relationship. At times this can be hard work as it may require slowing down and challenging assumptions about how things ‘should’ be – but when we do this, we can create an atmosphere of understanding, respect, trust and ultimately connection. It’s important to remember that it’s ok if things don’t always feel perfect — life is full of imperfect moments! The key is not to give up in the face of challenges, but rather approach them with curiosity, patience, and creativity. This can not only help us reconnect with our loved ones on a deeper level, but also develop incredible insights into ourselves and our relationships that will stay with us forever.
In my personal experience, navigating the complexities of the parent-child dynamic can be a daunting task. When I was growing up, the trauma I faced led me to resort to seeking out relationships with those who were narcissistic, as well as alternating between being self-centered and allowing myself to be taken advantage of in search of love.
But despite these struggles, my journey has become one that I am deeply passionate about — now dedicating part of my life’s work to helping others who are going through similar situations. It is my hope that by shining a light on this issue, people will be able to find their way forward in these difficult times.
We all have our own stories when it comes to the relationship between parent and child – and while they may not always result in easy solutions or straightforward answers, they each offer us important lessons that can help us grow in profound ways if we are open to them.
I am sharing chapter 1 of my book “The Self-Mothering Effect” to give you a small glimpse into the trauma that drove me to relationship work.
You can find or order the full book at any bookstore or get it here: The Self-Mothering Effect: A Unique Approach to Childhood Trauma, Narcissistic Abuse, and Codependency
Click here to read chapter 1 for free:
The Self-Mothering Effect Chapter 1